I saw this ad on an 18-wheeler: "Antigua Cruz: Make memories with the best tasting Tequila" Does anyone else find that funny? I'm sorry…no matter what the tequila tastes like, I rarely make memories when I drink it. If anything, I lose them. Or more likely, I never acquire them in the first place. Thank God. Maybe it means the tequila makes memories for the other people at the party with you who were smart enough to stick with beer. "Remember when Jill did the lambada with the chandelier? Remember when she threw up in the potted plant at Denny's? Remember when she fell asleep with her face on the gas station toilet seat? … Goood times."
Some Words I Like:
Scintilla, Rubric, Rigmarole, Boondoggle, Hornswaggle, Bamboozle, Brouhaha, Hullaballoo, Hubbub, Shindig, Hootenanny, Ripsnorter, Cornucopia, Hobgoblin, Banshee, Flummox, Scalawag, Ragamuffin, Caterwaul, Cacophony, Cantankerous, Curmudgeon, Persnickety, Bailiwick, Willy-nilly, Higgledy-piggledy, Lollygag, Dilly-dally, Uvula, Arugula, Urethra.
(I have a lot more, but I wanted to get these down before I forgot them. I welcome suggestions.)
Words I don't care for: feces, areola, labia, scrotum, beaver.
Some foods & drinks I hate:
Milk, root beer, rye bread, pretzels, blue cheese, maple syrup, green apples, grocery-store tomatoes.
Some foods I probably hate but haven't tried: beets.
Pet peeve phrases:
"Long story short…" (This is rarely the case, and those 3 words just make the story that much longer)
"At the end of the day…" (What does this mean? Why do people say this? Does it mean it takes a whole day to figure something out? And does it mean a full day or just by close of the business day?"
"Pet peeve" (What is a peeve, and why would you pet it if you don't like it?)
Things people say incorrectly that really irritate the holy living crap out of me:
"All the sudden"
"For all intensive purposes"
"At your beckon call"
"Mischievious"
"Supposably"
"Between (or for/with/to/or any other preposition) you (or anyone else) and I (or he, she, we, or they)"
Pronoun subjects of a sentence are: I, you, he, she, it, we, they
Pronoun objects of a sentence are: me, you, him, her, it, us, them
Read it, know it, live it. Sound smarter. I'm just trying to make the English-speaking world a better place. What did I get an English degree for if I can't use it in my daily life for the improvement of others' personal quality and overall level of power and influence?
There are a few other things people say that get on my nerves, but if I were to list them, no one would ever speak to me for fear of my not hearing what they say because I will be busy mentally editing everything that comes out of their mouths, bless their hearts.
This is all for now. Just needed to declutter.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Mental Fragments
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4 comments:
i'm so glad you did a post on this topic! i'd long ago made a list in anticipation of this opportunity to share, if i may once again beg your indulgence.
Some Words I Like:
Mountebank
Troglodyte
Perspicacity
Paroxysm
Ersatz
Miasma
Bailiwick (i swear i already had it on my list before your post!)
Exegesis
Penurious (sounds painful)
Sophistry
Sesquipedalian
and one phrase i try to use as often as i can find reason,
Iatrogenic sequelae.
but that one is tough to use outside of work or the neurosurgery Christmas party.
Things people say incorrectly that really irritate the holy living crap out of me:
surprisingly missing from your list, the most obvious and common, saying "good" instead of "well"- how are you? i'm good. you're doing good, things went pretty good... ugh!!!!! unless you really mean that you are "good", as in "not evil", in which case, you need some humility lessons. i will not be cowed into feeling embarrassed to reply "i'm well, thanks" when someone inquires, just because there are more dumbasses than not out there!
when someone has changed to the opposite position on an issue, saying that they've changed "360 degrees"
"i'd just assume" instead of "i'd just as soon"
"flaunt" when they mean "flout"
thinking that inserting "myself" as an object sounds more educated than just using "me"- it doesn't. it's a reflexive pronoun that requires the word "I" preceding it.
"less" instead of "fewer"- if your grocery store express lane says "10 items or less", shop somewhere else!
using "infer" instead of "imply", as, "are you trying to infer that i'm stupid?" (no, you're doing a fine job all by yourself)
saying "normalcy" when "normality" works perfectly well- unless you're Warren G. Harding, that is
misusing "begs the question" as though it means "raises the question", which it doesn't. it is a form of incorrect circular reasoning that applies in formal logic. only.
one i see a lot (not "alot") of in IMs and emails is using "loose" as verb instead of "lose", like "i think the Giants are going to loose the game"- i don't get that one at all.
george bush saying "nucular" instead of "nuclear"- he knows he says it wrong, yet he revels in it. that is inexcusable, especially for a fighter pilot with a Masters from Harvard (and who also made better grades than john kerry at Yale)
my all time favorite (or is it least favorite?), the one i hate the most: using "nonplussed" to mean unfazed sangfroid, when it actually means exactly the opposite, being befuddled or embarrassed to the point of inaction by a situation. for a perfect example of the word's misuse, as well as of what a shitty paper the new york times is, see an article therein about computer security by Gina Kolata, February 20, 2000: "The owner happens to be a computer security expert [who] knows about the attacks because his computer has a fire wall, which keeps intruders out and tells him when they have come by. Yet he was nonplussed by the number of attacks on that single day last week. 'I think it's fairly typical,' he said."
who's the biggest dope- the moron who wrote it, the incompetent editor who printed it, or the braindead zombies who read that rag?
damn, it feels great to cast judgement- thanks Jill!!
Great additions! You must have one of those word-a-day calendars. I like troglodyte, too. Especially when you call someone a troglodyte and they don't know what you mean. Ah, the irony. I also want to add pusillanimous and niggardly. Btw, contrary to the way it sounds, niggardly is not a racist term.
Another thing that irritates me to no end, and one that I can't believe I didn't include in the post, is the phrase, "I could care less." Uh, no. You mean you could NOT care less. That one really scratches on the chalkboard of my mind.
I just love nurturing my superiority complex.
Ain't us so more gooder'n ever one else?
i do NOT have to rely on the artifice and superficiality of a word-a-day calendar! these are some of the words that have actually accrued to my lexicon over the years from various sources- you included (i think you once helped me understand the subtleties of "ersatz", for example, which is to say, you taught me its definition after i'd used it incorrectly), along with Rush Limbaugh, William F. Buckley and the hot blonde who is not to be named. (as a related aside, will you at least agree that Michelle Malkin is totally doable, for an asian?)
i too thought about adding niggardly- and your (unnecessary) admonition not to misconstrue it as a racist term reminded me of a story: we were living in the DC region when Tony Williams was elected mayor (succeeding Marion "Bitch set me up!" Barry). he'd run on the promise of uniting blacks and whites and bridging some of the racial divisions left over from the Barry years. early on in his term, David Howard, a white member of Williams' administration, used the word "niggardly" during a discussion about the budget. a black staff member immediately complained of being shocked by the racist remark, so Williams accepted Howard's resignation. Howard even went so far as to apologize to anyone who had been offended! so we had the ignorant black staffer thinking it was a racial slur, the white-guilt liberal Howard apologizing for the fact that someone else was too stupid to know the meaning of his word, and the "uniter" new mayor accepting Howard's resignation instead of using the mess as an opportunity to edify and educate both sides of the racial divide. the whole sordid thing was priceless, in a nauseating sort of way.
ps- and i'm all for areola, labia and beaver!!!
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