Do I just have a dirty mind? Here's what I forgot to mention in my last post of various and sundry miscellany:
Katy went to two different weeks of Brownie/Girl Scout camp over the summer. At the end of the week, when the parents come to pick them up, the girls put on skits and sing songs while we have a little picnic. It's all very sweet. Flag ceremony, recitation of the Girl Scout Oath and Girl Scout Motto (I will never know which is which), the singing of the Girl Scout signature song "Make new friends/but keep the old/one is silver and the other gold…," blah, blah, blah, then a nice tape-recorded playing of Taps as the flag is lowered at the end, etc. It really is fun to see so many little girls all happy and dirty in mismatched clothes, laughing with their friends and performing for their parents. (I'd say it is as American as apple pie, but that concept was tainted –in my dirty mind- by American Pie.) Anyway, at some point in the show, the girls line up to sing and act out a certain song. This is where (for me) it suddenly becomes awkward and inappropriate. The cuteness comes to a screeching halt and I giggle like Wayne and Garth or Beavis and Butthead:
THE BEAVER SONG
Beaver one, beaver all,
Let's all do the beaver crawl (pretend to crawl)
Beaver two, beaver three,
Let's all eat a beaver tree (pretend to climb)
Beaver four, beaver five,
Let's all do the beaver dive (pretend to dive)
Beaver six, beaver seven,
Let's all go to beaver heaven (sway with hands in prayer)
Beaver eight, beaver nine STOP
It's beaver time, go beaver, go beaver (rapper/hip-hop moves)
Beaver ten, beaver ten
Let's all do the beaver again!
I then pictured a burlesque team of the grown-up scout leaders (most of them rather burly women) taking it one step further, and I wanted to poke my eyes out. Am I just immature? Do I have an adult chip missing? Do I need to exorcise this teenage boy who has taken up residence in the basement of my mind? I kind of like him.
Sorry if this offended anyone. Wait…not really.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Is It Just Me?
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5 comments:
OMG - I love The Beaver Song!!!! Lauren must have dropped out of scouts too early (I couldn't handle being 'cookie mom' for a 4th year in a row)!!
As for inner teenager - AB-SO-F&@^ ING-LUTELY!!! My kids continuously explain that I need to be 'the adult' - WHATEVER!!! I am the person who watches Law & Order: SVU just to hear them say 'heinous' during the intro AND giggles every time I hear someone say 'duty'!!! Hee Hee - duty....
Gyaaaah!! I thought I had problems. Duuuuude, you're the one who needs to grow up. You are an absolute embarrassment to me. Like, totally.
you got very productive in the week i was away at the F1 race in Belgium, so i'm a bit behind in my comments. just a quick one while i unpack:
i’m not sure how you’re defining “anthem”- to me it means a song that is mid-tempo, slightly bombastic, and has a chorus that sounds best when 10,000 people are singing it in unison in a stadium. like, “Born in the USA” would be a perfect example, if you had a category for “post-Vietnam revisionist anti-American clap trap” (someday i’ll explain to bruce that we actually won Vietnam militarily- Tet was a victory for the US, and the top NVA general was ready to surrender if we’d bombed Hanoi for even one more day- but because of traitors like jane fonda, john kerry and all of bruce’s commie buddies, we lost the will politically) (not to mention the fact that we only got into that war in the first place because JFK was looking for somewhere to flex his muscles, in order to compensate for his disastrous meeting with Khrushchev in Vienna where he’d come away looking weak, naïve and inexperienced, and got rolled by the Soviet, who built the Berlin Wall and sent missiles to Cuba soon after assessing Kennedy correctly for what he was- hello, obama, anyone?).
anyways, clearly Bon Jovi’s de rigueur anthem is “Dead or Alive”- not that it matters.
Purple Rain and Turn the Page work, although neither are consequential.
the ones you really need are: Iron Maiden- “Heaven can Wait”, Judas Priest- “Defenders of the Faith” and “United”, Metallica- “For Whom the Bell Tolls”, and i’ll throw in Dokken- “Cry of the Gypsy”. i know you’ll reject them all, but there you have it.
speaking of anthems, what about a list of the coolest actual national anthems? certainly, Advance Australia Fair is the best anthem ever, followed by O Canada, with the US anthem coming in 3rd. Deutschland uber alles is good, in a somber, teutonic world-domination sort of way, and the Italian anthem has a bouncy pep to it that accurately reflects the country’s style. (and boy did those two songs go well together on the podium when Michael Schumacher was winning all those races for Ferrari!)
Glad to see you making up for lost time here. Your fans were wondering where you were. Both of them.
Let me now respond to some of your inane, incongruous, and intrusive comments.
I have already nixed Born in the USA as an anthem. While it very well may actually be one in the minds of many lesser blue-collar, redneck beings, I must remain loyal to Born to Run as it is classic Springsteen, before he started selling out.
I love how you use this light-hearted anthem discussion to segue yourself onto a stage for airing your vast knowledge of political and military history in such a haughty way. Brilliant! If I knew anything of substance in those categories, I'd do the same thing.
I don't know if Dead or Alive is the Bon Jovi anthem. But I've never really cared for his music. So whatever. I did once have a vivid dream of being in a hot tub with him, so he could sing me a Chinese take-out menu for all I care.
I love how you accept Purple Rain and Turn the Page then immediately dismiss them as inconsequential. I would say they are at least worthy of some marginal consequence. Would you grant me that?
As for all your heavy metal suggestions, they are summarily rejected and banned from this forum. The only band in your list that may be anthemworthy is Judas Priest with something more mainstream and recognizable like Living After Midnight.
And your highjacking of this rock and pop anthem topic to flaunt your useless knowledge of other countries' national anthems is both educational and pathetic. Once again, you have amazed me. Not with your knowledge, but with your sly and oh-so-subtle way of injecting it into an otherwise enjoyable conversation.
that was your best rebuttal ever- i thoroughly enjoyed it!
btw, watch this and see if you don't agree with me about Australia's anthem- it gives me goosebumps every time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmDTLKnOiYU
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