Tuesday, May 6, 2008

1985

A few weeks ago, I was playing "Name That Band" with the kids, as we often do. I noticed I wasn't changing the station at all--which is unusual. We were listening to one of those stations that plays any random song. In San Antonio, it's Jack. The one out of Austin is Bob. We get both. So as each song played, I took their guesses, then informed them of the name of the artist or band and song title that I think they should be familiar with if they want to have any clue about the history of American pop music. (Maybe they don't want a clue about it and will be in therapy one day because of my well-meaning instruction--screaming in a rubber room "Get these oldies out of my head!!!") Anyway, I'm teaching them to recognize even artists I don't much care for anymore but who still merit acknowledgment, like Elton John, Rod Stewart, Madonna, and Chicago. I also pointed out classic artists I still like such as U2, Clapton, Fleetwood Mac, Springsteen, Steve Miller, The Pretenders, The Go-Go's, The Cars, Santana, Pink Floyd, The Police, and even The Eagles. I also had the courtesy to point out bands Mike likes that I don't much care about, like Aerosmith, Rush, Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ-Top, and Van Halen because I think they are part of our culture's music history. (Or lack of culture as the case may be.) After about 12 songs in a row, I realized why I hadn't needed to change the station. It was an All '80's Weekend. I let out an "Uuuggghhh!!" when I realized how old I was to be sitting there thinking, "Wow, they sure are playing a lot of good music." I fought an unnaturally urgent desire to go get a lower back tattoo or pierce my eyebrow as soon as possible. The kids were all like, "Mom, what's the matter?" I knew they wouldn't even begin to understand. I couldn't ask, "Don't y'all ever get nostalgic for Barney or the Teletubbies?"

I've told you all this just to introduce my perfect theme song suggested by none other than my ever-so-clever 8-year-old daughter. After I told the kids, "I just realized I like all these songs because they are only playing music from when I was in high school and college in the 1980s," Katy said, "Hey mom, you need to hear that song that says, 'Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana, her two kids in high school tell her that she's uncool.'" I had a real Oprah-esque light-bulb moment. Upset as I was, the kid was absolutely spot-on right. Here are some of the lyrics from Bowling For Soup's 1985 just to give you an idea:

She's seen all the classics, she knows every line,
Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, even St. Elmo's Fire
She rocked out to Wham, not a big Limp Bizkit fan
Thought she'd get a hand on a member of Duran Duran

Where's the mini-skirt made of snake skin?
And who's the other guy that's singing in Van Halen?
When did reality become TV?
What ever happened to sitcoms, game shows,
on the radio...

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana,
there was U2 and Blondie, and music still on MTV,
Her two kids in high school, they tell her that she's uncool
'cause she's still preoccupied with 19, 19, 1985

She hates time, make it stop
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
......

The ironic thing is, I replaced a Limp Bizkit song with this one. Is this a mid-life crisis? Is this a cry for help? Just keep an eye on me and don't let me get any embarrassing tattoos or piercings that would make me not just more uncool but also more pathetic.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

seeing how your taste in music is generally hopeless (the go-go’s?!?), this comment is for your last post:
ok, one hundred years of solitude has a lyrical magic to its prose, but isn’t that really thanks to the translator, gregory rabassa? having read Camus in the original language, i can tell you that the english language editions vary greatly in their treatment of the book:
“Aujourd'hui, maman est morte. Ou peut-ĂȘtre hier, je ne sais pas”, the famous, and simple, opening line from L’Etranger, has been translated at least 3 different ways in british and american texts. unless fluent in the native tongue (not to rub it in), one’s appreciation of these works is fully dependent on someone else’s take on it.
in any case, like with john lennon (don’t get me started on what a hateful, Godless, anarchistic piece of merde the song “imagine” is), as far as marquez, i cannot divorce the writer from his politics, since they clearly inform his plot and character developments. and as you know, ol’ Gabo is a stinking commie. he gets named to these human rights commissions, all the while puffing on cigars with pals castro and the former panamanian dictator torrijos up in the hacienda. if he really wanted to improve human rights he’d have put bullets in his commie buddies’ heads before they murdered millions of their proletariat.
not that i avoid reading all lefties- but give me Pynchon’s “Gravity’s Rainbow” or Eco’s “Foucault’s Pendulum” any day.

a few more for word nerd:
misanthrope
quid pro quo
hyperbole
sturm und drang
sycophant
brobdingnagian

Jill Mitchell-Thein said...

Well, I published your scathing comment against my better judgment. I did change one word because I thought "merde" would be more "appropriate" and take just a tiny bit of the sting out of your vitriol. (There's a good one, vitriolic). I don't always care so much about politics and translations and all this high-minded frou-frah. Take off your smoking jacket and cravat and jodphurs for a minute, please. Chill, bro. Put on a wife-beater and smash a beer can on your head or something. Get some motor oil under those manicured nails, would ya? By the way, who are you to talk about taste in music, Mr. Iron Maiden Fan Club President?
And how can you be so cruel as to berate me at a time like this?? Don't you realize I am in mourning? Hello??? Jason just got voted off American Idol. Sure, he deserved it weeks ago, and I knew it was coming, but that doesn't ease my pain right now. I'll be in seclusion reading People magazine, drinking wine from a box, and watching trash reality marathons on VH-1 until further notice.

Jill Mitchell-Thein said...

the 2 preceding comments also appear after the post below, because I mistakenly put them there when I arrived home quite late, sleep-deprived, and under sniper fire. I was befuddled and in no mood to engage my few working brain cells. I can't figure out how to move comments or delete them, so there you go. A little deja vu for anyone who bothers to read all this crap. AS IF I really wanted chris' pseudo-intellectual, faux-highbrow condescension posted twice on my turf. Chris, I have heard the perfect song for you. I dare you to look it up on YouTube and listen to it. It's Brad Paisley's "I'm Still a Guy": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXqqynfqE_0&NR=1
Absolutely true and hilarious.

Anonymous said...

cute song, but what's it got to do with me?
anyways, you’ve got me all wrong, Jill... i would NEVER wear jodhpurs with my smoking jacket!

Jill Mitchell-Thein said...

Must I remind you that this is only about one-six-billionth about you? This here is MY world. You exist here because I allow you to. I am the Chuck Norris of my blog.

Ginfam said...

Please, someone tell me - when did we get old?

I don't know how this happened...
40 was 'denial', 41 was still the same, now 42 is "WTF?"

When I asked Bob about this '1985' song (thinking it was something new), his response was "Yeah, it came out a long time ago."

When did we start being able to refer to things as "a long time ago"?!?!

I listen to all my same CDs, because I hate most of today's music (OMG - I sound like my 72 year old mother! Except, she is cooler than I am, because at least we bought her a Monogrammed IPod last year vs. my generic MP3 player, which currently has nothing recorded on it!) Then I feel 'uncool' (or whatever is the most current appropriate phrase), because I don't know the most up-to-date music!!!

Bob made a comment tonight about all the hype/publicity/toys they have out to promote the new Indiana Jones movie (remember, I am a die-hard IJ and 007 fanatic)... my comment was (are you ready for this??)...

"Well - they have to promote it so much, so today's youth can really appreciate how great it was 20 years ago!" Someone, please shoot me now...

P.S. - I am hosting an Indiana Jones marathon with my kids/their friends the night before the new one comes out, so I can take them to the midnight premier showing.

Dear Lord, maybe I will take that job at The Home Depot after all....

lylas, g

Jill Mitchell-Thein said...

Hey, weren't we just talking about how much we love Rob Thomas and Matchbox Twenty? They're still cool. I know because I listen to them all the time on my "Adult Alternative" digital cable music station. That reminds me, how funny was it when you saw me change the channel to "Adult Alternative" and you thought it meant something else? I think you have to pay extra for those.
Is today's "Adult Alternative" the same as what used to be called "Adult Contemporary" that our moms listened to? I did just buy the new REM CD--(another Starbucks impulse I will surely regret). Buying that CD makes me uncool for at least 2 reasons. They were my favorite band from like 1983-1997. Then I wrote them off when Bill Berry, the unibrow guy, left. I am uncool b/c (1) no one buys CDs anymore and (2) it's a new CD from an old band that jumped the shark years ago. I have this messed up idea that via this purchase, I will somehow time travel back to the days when unibrow was still in the band and all was right in my world. Now it really is the end of the world as we know it. (Ginger, that's a reference to an old REM song, if you didn't catch it.)

Anonymous said...

Funny, I thought that was MY themesong! In fact, knowing that Bowling for Soup is from Denton, I was certain that I had an old boyfriend pen that tune just for me!