Sometimes I just want to keep it mindless and pointless, but he keeps trying to pick intellectual fights, like a chihuahua yapping at a sedated (& extremely culturally literate) great dane. (I am part Danish, by the way. But there's no Mexican --or should I say Mexican-American or Latin-American or Chicano-American in him--as you might soon glean from his political views).
Anyway, Chris and I met when we went to school together a la Sorbonne in Paris wayyyy back in 1988. Twenty years ago? Twenty? As my mom says, time flies even when you're not having fun. Anyway, we bonded then via our common superiority complexes and our relentless desire to top each other with derogatory nicknames for fellow classmates. One time, he kept making our teacher repeat the french word for seal (the water mammal) "phoque" she would say. And he kept asking her, with a straight face, to repeat it just so we few Americans in the class could say it just right. So here we are, these 20-year-old obnoxious American college brats giggling as this sweet little french lady keeps saying "phoque, phoque, phoque" while making french seal sounds and gestures. I'll save the many Paris stories for another time. But I do need to get them down before the 20-year-old memories are gone with the brain cells that miraculously have remained with me even thru college. I didn't use many of them in law school, and of course, applying Norm's buffalo theory from Cheers (Google it...or was it Cliff?) anyway, survival of the fittest. But I digressed there.
As I was saying, Chris has been a very dear friend for years. He came to Texas from his home near Rochester, NY at the time to be an usher in our wedding. Then Mike & I went up to NY for his wedding. He's like the conservative little brother I never had. (My real little brother is more like me, a little confused by pro-lifers for war.) Anyway, from time to time, you may see political comments from Chris, trying to get me all riled up with his Sean Hannity/Rush Limbaugh hot air. Now, don't get me wrong, I do love listening to them, so I can get all uppity and prepare for battle. But when Chris gave me the backhanded compliment of putting me on his list just above Ann Coulter, I didn't know what to think. When I saw myself in the same paragraph with that psychotic diarrhea-of-the-mouth fascist freak, I had to dry heave a bit. But hey, at least I mean more to him than she does. Less than Formula I (which I don't get, either, but I think it's higher class than NASCAR.) So, I'll take what I can get. And I love Chris in spite of his misguided views. Just like I love everyone. True, kind, & gentle Liberals (not the militant ones--that should be an oxymoron, emphasis on moron) are that way. We love Everyone, especially the sinners, the simple-minded, and the lepers. Just like Jesus does. So bite me.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Caution: My Friend Chris Tries To Stir Up Trouble
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
troubled as i am that our standards have so coarsened that Kathy Griffin now informs the humor zeitgeist, i'll here endeavor to elevate the discourse- back to the level of Andrew "Dice" Clay at least. in one of my first memories of Jill, early in our Parisian semester, she was waxing rhapsodic about her massive crush on Michael Stipe (although he always seemed androgynous at best to me). so intense was her infatuation that while attending an REM concert and merely gazing upon Stipe’s shirtless gyrations, she got so worked up that, as she put it, “Je suis venu”. i remember thinking a couple of things simultaneously: 1) how funny it was to hear French spoken with such a Texas twang, and 2) what sort of girl would tell a story like this to a group of relative strangers? reflecting back, this was my first introduction to her love of word play, all the more impressive for being done in a second language of which she had tenuous mastery. (another great example of this bilingual wit was her appropriation of the French verb se flaner, which means “to stroll”, to specifically describe our frequent strolls to Flann O’Briens, one of our favorite pubs in Paris- “want to se flaner ce soir?”)
i immediately knew i was in the presence of greatness. she appealed to my intellect and challenged my assumptions even while at the same time encouraging, and reveling in, my baser instinct for pitiless mockery of those we deemed unworthy. it is for these reasons (yes, all three) that to this day i overlook Jill’s faults of zealous altruism and bleeding heart tendencies. i admire her tenacity in the face of all the empirical data showing that my side is right- even marrying a Republican warrior didn’t straighten her out! i am honored to be her yapping Chihuahua
In Defense of Ann Coulter:
as a writer, Jill might appreciate Ann Coulter for her unbroken string of #1 New York Times bestsellers, in addition to countless published columns and speaking engagements.
as a lawyer, Jill can respect Ann Coulter as an Ivy League cum laude graduate who was an editor of Michigan Law Review, member of the Order of the Coif and clerked for the 8th Circuit court.
as a feminist, Jill should admire Ann Coulter for being a liberated, empowered woman breaking the glass ceiling and succeeding in a chauvenistic patriarchal arena.
but as a man, i mainly like Ann Coulter because she has a GREAT rack!
To the "anonymous" poster: Ann Coulter may have a "great rack" but you'd have to put a bag over her horse face. I have to admit, I do admire her cojones. I do wonder if she's really a tranny, though. I think she has an adam's apple and big hands.
And Chris, as we now know, Michael Stipe was and is what I like to call (thanks to my friends Kathy & Tom) a "Keebler" (fudge packer). But I still adore him with all my heart. Your mention of flaner reminded me of when we would go to that bar in Paris called.... What was it? La Vache? Vache something? (it means "Cow" as in MP & the Holy Grail's "fetchez la vache!" which, btw, is on the shirt I got from the Spamalot show). In french, "let's go there" was "on y va" & instead I would say, "On y vache" Damn that was some awesome wordplay. I pity the fools who don't know how to butcher la langue francais like I do.
btw, "anonymous," it is spelled "chauvinistic." In fact, it's of French origin. I'm a bit of a stickler for spelling, so next time you post anonymously with misspelled words, I may just reject you. But thanks for your input.
Did you ever know that you're my hero??? Lylas - g
p.s. - I am not the above "Anonymous". Just because I am an IT Director (aka - geek), doesn't mean I know "how to blog". But you will always know my 'sign-off', cuz everything on me is round ;o} g
here's the picture i tried to attach to my comment
Chris reminded me (he's a bit younger) it was called PianoVache. As if any casual observers care. And, G, LYLAS 2 U 2 you geek. And as for the picture chris posted, my experts are working on a way to screen for infiltrations of such scatalogical imagery. I must admit, it is funny that it's a chihuahua though.
You and Anonymous made me laugh. That was melodramatic.
Post a Comment