Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Cut me some slack, I'll be back

I'm leaving for DC tomorrow to do a presentation at a veterans' law conference Friday morning. Everytime I think about it I feel like I'm going to either puke, have diarrhea, or both. I'll have to remember to take an Immodium the night before so I'll be locked up for several days, and then probably take a Pepto and one of my mild tranquilizers that morning. And I'll have to skip coffee and maybe just eat a saltine so if I do throw up, maybe it won't be bad. Unless it's projectile. That could get embarrassing. I know the info, and I'll be speaking to newbies, so I probably won't get heckled too much. And of course I made it hilarious, so I think as long as they laugh at the appropriate times, I'll do fine.

Then almost as soon as I get back, Mike will be leaving for a couple of months. He has to teach me all the man-chores to do while he's gone, like how to use the riding lawnmower, how to add salt to the water softener, how to check the propane level, how to use the weed-eater, how to water the garden and flower beds, and whatever else he does out there. Hmmmmm..... I may just have to hire a yard boy.

Wish me luck. On the presentation, I mean. Well, with the lawn boy, too. I mean finding one to hire for legit work, of course.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

the DC conference i can see, (and why are they never in Boston? don't we have any vets up here besides john kerry and his phony self-inflicted purple hearts that he may or may not have thrown away?), but using Mike's absence as an exuse not to blog for 2 months is a stretch!
buena suerte with the lawn boy- be sure to check his immigration status... unless of course you plan on voting for john mccain. i think an update on how the man chores are going is a perfect topic for a sure-to-be-hillarious blog!