School of Rock

{and Pop}

I have several different music-related topics that have been rattling around in my mind for the past few months. I don't know where to start, so I'll just do a sort of Joycean stream-of-consciousness dictation here. (My apologies to the late James Joyce for having the gall to suggest that I could ever emulate his abstruse style.)

I love that movie, School of Rock. I think I love every Jack Black movie. The first time I truly appreciated him was when I bonded with his character (music-tastewise) in High Fidelity. I think Saving Silverman came out not long after that, which, by the way, included a cameo appearance by none other than Neil Diamond—who was the guest mentor on American Idol tonight. My opinion on that deserves an entirely separate post. (Or not.) Suffice it to say, my boy Jason will soon be on his way back to Texas. Bless his precious little dreadlocked heart.

Now, let me get this part out of the way. My philosophy-professor little brother has recently been dealing with some serious stress. He told me he responded to it by cranking up some Pantera to help him scream out some of the rage. He said he was reminded of me because I knew the band at its inception, when they played in a garage and progressed to gigs at keg parties in high school. I never followed them much over the years (and honestly, had I not known them then, I probably would never have known that they existed at all). Apparently, in the world of heavy metal, they were kind of a big deal. The lead guitarist, Darrell Abbott, became a famous guitar wizard/genius. He was originally known as "Diamond" Darrell, but later became "Dimebag," and then simply "Dime" to his friends and fans. (Whatever.) I just remember him as a scrawny, laid-back, nice boy (for a budding headbanger). He met a tragic and untimely death three or four years ago. If you can't die of a drug overdose or in an aircraft crash, then I guess getting shot to smithereens on stage is quite a rockstar way to go.

Anyway...if you haven't noticed, I've added some more of my favorite songs, just in case you want to enjoy some background music while you read my drivel. Brian Wilson is one of my favorite Barenaked Ladies songs. And don't get the wrong idea. I am not, nor have I ever been, a Beach Boys fan. I just love the song's message. Maybe I identify with the whole depressed-tortured-artist thing too much. The kids prefer BNL's If I Had a Million Dollars because Luke loves the part that says, "But not a real green dress, that's cruel," and Katy loves the part that says, "Haven't you always wanted a monKEY?" Fun song. (Not the kind I normally gravitate to.) Round Here is probably my favorite song. It's at least in my top five. I also wanted to add the Counting Crows version of Joni Mitchell's Big Yellow Taxi, but it's a WMA file that I can't convert to an MP3. (Don't get me started on how jacked-up all my music files are.) I think Big Yellow Taxi is a classic that everyone should know. And I had to add my favorite Tori Amos song. The CD that song comes from is called Little Earthquakes, but Mike calls it Little Earaches. I included American Girl because it's probably my favorite Tom Petty song and also because I think it's an anthem. I think Don Henley's Boys of Summer and Bryan Adams' Summer of '69 should also be deemed anthems, but I'm no expert. These are just the lame opinions of someone who fancies herself an outdated pop music critic. Of course the real anthems are Free Bird and American Pie (The Day the Music Died). Stairway, of course, is in an anthem class by itself. I'm sure I'm missing several good ones, so please add any suggestions for me to either accept or deride. Good Riddance is here because I think it's pure pop poetry. I like poems that rhyme. (Especially limericks.) The song also reminds me of the Seinfeld finale. They played it at the end of that last, stupid, forgettable episode. I added a Shawn Colvin song because I think she is brilliant. I may have made a mistake in song choice, though. She's a songwriter. But instead of posting one of the many incredible songs she has written, I chose to post her cover of a heartbreaking Bob Dylan song. This way I can include a nod to Bob Dylan without actually having to subject anyone to his voice. Trust me, her version is way better. The other new one is Limp Bizkit's version of The Who's Behind Blue Eyes. I like it, but the more I think about it, the more I think there are better songs to replace it with. My playlist won't be complete until I add Sarah McLachlan, R.E.M., and Nanci Griffith. There are at least a hundred more songs and/or artists I want to mention, so I'll try to toss in a reference here and there as I continue to gunk up cyberspace with my occasional (or all-too-frequent) unsolicited anecdotes and ill-informed opinions.

Well, I gave myself a little less than an hour to get this stuff down, so I never even got to the part about my own personal version of School of Rock. Basically, I play "Name That Band" in the car with the kids. I'll have to tell you more about it in the next installment. Some moms home-school their children. The only home-schooling my kids get involves my stern guidance with how to identify and sing the words of Led Zeppelin, Elvis, AC/DC, Bruce Springsteen, Johnny Cash, The Cure (yes, The Cure) or any other artist or band I deem worthy. Some may see this as a frivolous endeavor. I consider it a Creator-endowed duty to instill in my children the utmost level of mid- to late-20th century popular music literacy. Let's just see what they'll use more in the real world. Trigonometry or tunes? My money's on the music.