"…Oh, so you work for the VA?" AAAaaarrrggghhh!

(And I don't mean to say that with a pirate accent. But if I did, it would be funny.)

The answer to the title question is No. Quite the contrary. People don't seem to get it.

First, I don't like to advertise that I'm an attorney:

1. No one believes it's possible because
(a) I'm a "blonde"
(b) I'm never serious enough
(c) I have only a superficial understanding of world history and current events
(d) Any combination of the above
(e) (b) and (d)

2. When they find out and see that I don't make any money at it, they must think
(a) I'm a sucky lawyer
(b) I'm a lame businessperson
(c) I have no drive or ambition and "why did she bother going to law school?"
(d) I'm so honorable to have given up a lucrative salary and high-powered career for the sake of my family
(e) All of the above except (d)

3. I think I'm scamming people because
(a) It sounds funny to me, too
(b) I feel like a girl in a costume who says she's a princess
(c) I feel like a stripper who tells everyone she's a ballerina
(d) I feel like a ballerina who is really a stripper
(e) (d)

4. I may miss out on some lawyer jokes I haven't already heard
(a) Like that'll ever happen,
(b) Then I have to chuckle politely at a lighthearted attempt to offend members of my profession when the only thing that really offends me is the jokester's negligent use of a trite and insipid riddle,
(c) At which point I will be forced to reach into my handy freight car full of witty and sarcastic comebacks that all-too-often will hurt some fragilian's feelings,
(d) And then my audience will mutter amongst themselves things like, "See what a bitch she is? I told you she was a lawyer."
(e) This one is not multiple choice

Now, on to the point I was trying to make.
When people ask me if I work, where I work, what I do, or why did you write me that nasty letter, I hesitantly say that I'm a lawyer. I have been an attorney for over 17 years and that word still sounds funny coming out of my mouth. It's a big part of my life and it takes up a lot of otherwise barren real estate in my mind, but it's not who I am. My heart is in it, but only to the extent that it satisfies my desire to analyze and to write and to make my enemies suffer in abject shame as I expose their unscrupulous and heinous acts with my superior intellect, my unparalleled legal research skills, and my sly ability to threaten blackmail by distributing non-existent hidden-camera video, and (oh yeah) to help people.

Anyway, so this is what I usually say: "I mainly practice veterans' law. I fight the VA. I handle benefits appeals for veterans or veterans' widows who deserve compensation from the VA." Sometimes I dumb it down even more, but I always say, "I Fight The V.A." Then, nine times out of ten, this is what I get: They nod approvingly and say, "Oh, so you work for the VA. That's great." I have to take a deep breath, tell myself (1) they weren't listening to my boring job description, (2) they know not what they say, and (3) they are idiots who don't mean to insult me.

Then I politely say, "Uh, NO. I Do Not Work FOR The VA. I FIGHT them. They are the EVIL Empire. I am doing the Lord's work here, you moron. Don't you listen?" Then I tell them if they know any disabled vets, I'll be glad to help them or at least put their file on my back burner with all the others. I wonder whether they think, "Wow, she's mean. If I were to fight the VA, I'd want her on my side," or simply "Yep, she's a lawyer alright. What a bitch."

Whatever. Thanks for letting me rant.